Blog Posts – Pride in Ely, Cambridgeshire

“Transcending Boundaries” An interview with Sarah Marsh

Sandy Fosh — Thu, 04 Apr 2024 16:42:44 +0000

As we celebrated International Transgender Day of Visibility on Sunday 31st March, we spoke to a local community member who is going above and beyond to support trans rights and advocates for trans people. Sarah Marsh joined the Liberal Democrats so she could help to initiate change from the inside. Not only is she working hard in Politics but she is also the Author of ‘Transcending Boundaries’, a book bringing together 50 incredible Trans stories. We wanted to know more about Sarah’s work and her personal experiences as a trans woman.

Sitting Down With Sarah

How has your transition impacted your self-perception and identity?

For the first time in my adult life (since puberty), I feel myself and awake.

Before ‘my egg broke’ (a term for the realisation that you are Trans), I was heavily disassociated. Day to day felt like I was living in a dream world (Yes, the film ‘The Matrix’ was written about the Trans experience). Crazy as it now seems, I never questioned my experience as being anything but normal. My past self almost seems to me like a memory from a film or book, not really me.

What challenges have you encountered during the transition process, and how did you overcome them?

By far the biggest problem for me, was accepting myself. The self-hate nearly ended by life, quite literally. However, overcoming the rejection of almost all family and friends has also been very challenging. The only way I could get through was by reading and studying about being Trans, socially, and biologically to accept and love myself for who I am.

Sarah Marsh author of Transcending Boundries

Sarah Marsh is a widely published photographer, engineer, author and she is also Transgender. “I discovered I was trans in spring 2020 after reading a random article on social media with someone describing how they discovered that they were trans. It seems so crazy to me, that for all of my life up to that point, I had never questioned my identity. “

What have been the most positive aspects of transitioning for you, and how have they influenced your personal growth?

Feeling alive and awake!

That is a such a privilege, and one that most people will not appreciate. Having connection to my emotions, quite literally learning how to feel has been a magical experience. Accepting femininity which I spent my life trying to hide.

In what ways does your role within the Liberal Democrats allow you to advocate for Transgender rights and contribute to creating a more inclusive political landscape?

As Diversity Officer, I am able to connect with minority groups and promote ALL equality, also within the party, I am very vocal, previously serving on the Council of England and meeting Ed Davey himself to promote equality. There has been so much support for working to a better society.

What inspired you to put together such a powerful book, and how did you go about finding different stories to be included?

The pain and difficulty of my own transition has really motivated me to try to help others. Through my transition I had learned so much about myself and developed some metaphors to make sense of my experiences, for example:

Having hypnosis training and experience, I could not understand how, after several weeks of trying, hypnosis was not helping with my dysphoria. It then occurred to me that, just like your mobile phone, there is hardware and software. I was trying to change the software to feel better. Once I went through my medical transition, my dysphoria ended.

What advice would you give to anyone considering or starting out their transition?

Stay safe first!

Secondly, try to connect with a ‘big sister’ or ‘big brother’ to help support and guide you through.

You can get your copy of Transcending Boundaries from Amazon here

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this blog post, we highly recommend visiting Galop a charity supporting LGBT+ people who have encountered abuse or violence https://galop.org.uk/

You are also welcome to Contact Us and we’ll do our best to put you in touch with local support. We also have a safe space group on Facebook which you can join – just get in touch and we’ll get you connected

The messy U-turns of the Anti-Conversion Therapy legislation 2022

Simon — Sun, 10 Apr 2022 18:48:02 +0000

The 31st March 2022 (the date of the International Trans Visibility day), saw the government perform a double U-turn on the subject of a ban on Conversion therapy within the space of a few hours. The first U-turn was that the ban would not be created at all and then the second U-turn hours later announcing that the legislation would proceed but would only ban conversion based on Sexuality and not Gender identity. This despite promising in October that the ban would also apply to gender based Conversion Therapy. Binary and Non-binary Trans people in the Government’s own National LGBT survey research reports are much more likely to have received
or been offered conversion therapy 13% compared to Cisgender’s (non-Transgender people) 5%.

These U-turns it appears were decided upon at the highest levels of government without apparent knowledge of some ministers involved in the legislation. The second U-turn appears to have been in response to widespread condemnation of the government’s decision and was made by Boris Johnson on the night of 31st March.

Conversion therapies are interventions which are designed to overwrite or suppress a person’s Gender Identity or Sexuality. Consensus is that Gender Identity & Sexuality is an innate Characteristic of a person.

The practice has been banned in a number of countries across the globe, particularly those countries which vaunt their records on Human Rights. The UN’s “Independent Human Rights Expert on protection against violence & discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity”–Mr Madrigal-Borloz, released a report on Conversion Therapy in May 2020 which called for a Global Ban on the practice. The report noted that Conversion therapies can inflict severe (and potentially long-lasting) psychological and physical pain and suffering.

The expert noted that the practice is inherently degrading and discriminatory as it is rooted in the belief that LGBT persons are inferior to cisgender or heteronormative people and must modify their identity to remedy this inferiority. He highlighted that these practices are an egregious violation of rights to bodily autonomy, health and freedom of expression, which it is claimed are part of Britain’s approach to human rights. Further where such practices are conducted forcibly, they represent a breach to the prohibition of torture and ill-treatment.

The Independent Forensic Expert Group of the International Rehabilitation Council for Torture Victims, a group of pre-eminent international medico-legal specialists from 23 countries, has declared that offering “conversion therapy” is a form of deception, false advertising and fraud as a number of studies show that these ‘therapies’ do not work and only provides distress for the victim.

Sajid Javid the current Health Secretary claimed that it was necessary to exclude Trans-people to protect gender questioning children, referring to Dr. Hilary Cass’ on going review into gender services provision for young children. She has said that it is right for medical experts to question people when they come forward claiming to have gender dysphoria and to determine if that really is the case. It should be noted that diagnosing and investigating Gender Dysphoria would not be Conversion Therapy, as it’s not seeking to change or suppress someone’s gender identity and in fact is more likely to provide support.

A selection of recent films exploring the reality and harm caused by so-called Gay Conversion Therapy (images link to the IMDB page for each film)

The Government, had been making outreaches to LGBTQ+ people; this included organising in partnership with LGBTQ+ organisations, a global LGBTQ conference called Safe To Be Me. Liz Truss the Minister for Women and Equalities has cancelled the conference after more than 100 LGBTQ+ organisations pulled out of the conference. This affects our country’s International reputation in the area and means that many LGBTQ+ organisations will now have a tricky time trusting this government. Iain Anderson the Government’s former and first LGBT Business Champion made reference to this damaged trust when he resigned on the 5th April.

The first openly out Trans MP–Jamie Wallis, a fellow Conservative, has stated that he is ‘bitterly disappointed’ with the government over their decision.

We covered this topic in an earlier blog post entitled “Pray The Gay Away” which you can read here.

We will also be exploring this topic further in future blog posts, so make sure to follow us on social media for updates (links in the site footer) and you can also sign up for our Newsletters to get updates from us.

For those who want to protest against the government’s decision I suggest contacting your local MP, Conservative Lucy Frazer for those who are in the South East Cambs constituency.

Stonewall has prepared an email template, you can use it to send an email directly from their page:

https://www.stonewall.org.uk/our-work/campaigns/ban-conversion-therapy

Kirsty Eyre discusses her debut novel, Cow Girl

Simon — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 03:16:20 +0000

Debut author Kirsty Eyre, winner of the inaugural Comedy Women in Print award last year, talks to Pride in Ely about her debut novel “Cow Girl”, published this year and available for Christmas!

Make sure to read on to the end for a chance to win this fantastic book!

Cow Girl won the inaugural Comedy Women in Print award last year. Why is this award important?

Recognising that comic writing is a craft in its own right, comic genius, Helen Lederer, launched a new book award, Comedy Women in Print (CWIP), that shines a light on funny female fiction. I’d been writing my first novel for what felt like forever and had my manuscript pretty much ready to go out to agents when I saw CWIP asking for submissions on Twitter and had to enter. I was over-the-moon to be long and then short-listed, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect to win! At the winner’s event, I remember drinking too many strawberry gins and Jilly Cooper telling me a bawdy joke – I was made up for life.

Tell us a bit about Cow Girl – Ely is in the Fens; full of farmland and potentially some ‘Cow Girls’ of our own!

Cow Girl is my debut novel. It’s a comedy which I pitch as a lesbian Bridget Jones’ Diary meets Cold Comfort Farm. Billie, a thirty-something lesbian scientist has to ditch London life to run her dad’s dairy farm up on the Derbyshire/ Yorkshire border when her father falls ill. She battles misogyny, homophobia and the turbulence of romance before finally winning over the local farming community who affectionately dub her, the ‘Cow Girl.’

You can see me reading an extract in this video….

What inspired you to write this story?

I knew first and foremost that I wanted to tell a story through the eyes of a lesbian protagonist and originally wrote the whole book as an LGBTQ Bridget Jones’ Diary in journal format. My parents retired to the Yorkshire/ Derbyshire border where the book is set and I fell in love with a dairy farm just outside Baslow which became my muse. The setting was born. It was at a Curtis Brown Creative writing course that I was advised to ditch the diary format and go for a straight (cough) narrative.

So you re-wrote the entire book?

I think I rewrote the story about five times over. The first draft after losing the diary format had the hangover of a journal and I took on board beta reader feedback and notes from my agent too. Then once I’d won the Harper Collins publishing deal, there was of course another round of edits. It’s certainly been a journey.

Would the book work if Billie wasn’t a lesbian?

Not really. Cow Girl is neither a coming-out story nor a story about being a gay woman, so on the one hand Billie’s sexuality is incidental. However, the hurdles Billie must jump and the prejudices she has to overcome would be nowhere near as significant if she was a heterosexual woman. That, and also a love triangle of three women I believe ups the ante. On saying that, Cow Girl is as much about friendship and family as it is about romance. Being a lesbian is part of who Billie is. Her experiences have shaped the person she has become and without them, she wouldn’t have the strength, courage and humour that she needs to succeed as a female farmer.

Why do you think we need more LGBTQ+ protagonists?

I strongly feel that LGBTQ+ protagonists are underrepresented in literature and this isn’t right. Firstly, because it isn’t a reflection of real life and we need more character diversity for all readers, and secondly, because there aren’t enough same-sex novels for our LGBTQ+ community (particularly in the rom com world: something my lesbian friends are at pains to point out – everyone needs a laugh, especially during these times!). My biggest passion in all of this is getting a mainstream audience to read novels with LGBTQ+ characters and understanding that these stories are for everyone.

What are you working on next?

I’ve got a couple of things on the go. Firstly, another comic novel, ‘Goddesses of Barnsley,’ which centres on three estranged sisters who reunite at their father’s funeral. I love exploring female relationships and this one is all about sibling rivalry, love and resentment.

I’m also writing two romantic comedy novels under a pseudonym. I’m half way through the first one which is set in Cyprus and have yet to fully form the second which will be set in Italy. Sun and escapism: isn’t that everyone needs right now?

Do you have one tip for any budding LGBTQ Fenland authors who maybe reading?

Yes. Obviously writing is a craft, but getting a novel to publication is probably more of a mental challenge than the act of writing itself. Going the full marathon in terms of word count, structure, plot points and character development means that you will undoubtedly go off piste at times. Getting there can feel unsurmountable at times, but don’t give up. Writing is as much about having the mental endurance to go back to it again and again. Also, join a writer’s group. Read each other’s work. Offer supportive and honest feedback and lean on each other. It may not need to be an LGBTQ group but if you’re writing for an LGBTQ audience, then make sure you have people from the LGBTQ community amongst your beta readers. Good luck!

Where can we buy the book and follow you on social media?

Cow Girl is available in the UK, Australia and Canada in ‘all good bookstores’! Check out Topping & Co locally, Waterstones, Amazon or Gay’s the Word. It’s possible to order it as an import from the UK to other countries.

You can find Kirsty on the social media links and bookshop links below!

You mentioned a competition… how do I enter?

Kirsty has very kindly donated a copy of Cow Girl for Pride in Ely readers to win. To enter, simply follow this link to the post our Facebook page. To enter simply Follow our page, then Like and Share the “Cow Girl” post.

A winner will be chosen at random on December 30th, so make sure we can contact you via Facebook to let you know if you won!

Optionally you may wish to sign up for Newsletters from Pride in Ely!

Pray The Gay Away

Simon — Sat, 08 Aug 2020 12:45:39 +0000

We kick off our brand new website and Blogs section with a guest post about so-called Gay Conversion Therapy written by Justin Kennedy, a Baptist Minister in Training in Manchester. This subject has been in the news more and more in recent years, with calls just this week for it to be outlawed in the UK. A number of excellent films have also been released in the last few years which detail real people’s experiences within this damaging and abhorrent practice. Some suggestions of films to watch are listed below.

Justin went through a damaging conversion programme as a young Christian adult; he shares his experiences in the hope that by shining light on these despicable practices the church can begin to move away from them.

My ‘pray the gay away’ journey by Justin Kennedy

Like many of you, I was once that lively, passionate, charismatic Christian. I stood out, I was bold and courageous, but like many of you there was something deeply hidden and shameful about me (or so I thought). Yes, I was, I am Gay, G-A-Y, good as you!

Being ‘born again’ at 17 in an evangelical charismatic church seemed natural to me, I knew I had attractions to men before this but I’d never known what to do about it so when Jesus came along it felt like this was it, salvation, escape, life in all its fullness! I spent five years as that lively, passionate, charismatic Jesus freak until a monster came from the deep to the surface of my life.

I couldn’t believe it, me, the pioneer, the firebrand still had this thing, I couldn’t even say it at the time, but I was still gay! I secretly hoped God would have healed me in this new ‘born again’ life but it didn’t happen. I shared with close Christian friends and church leaders alike and I became ‘project Justin.’ The order of the day was ‘conversion therapy!’ We charismatics believe in God’s power but also Satan’s ability to corrupt too and I had been corrupted; deliverance was what I needed.

Whilst the practice is more commonly known and reported within the US, it is estimated that 1 in 20 (5%) LGBT people in Britain have been pressured to use such services to question or change their sexual orientation.

This figure rises to 9% amongst people aged 18-24 years and those classed as BAME and 8% for LGBT disabled people.

One in 5 (20%) of trans people have been pressured to suppress their gender identity, an aspect of this barbaric practice which is often under-reported.

Source: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/campaign-groups/conversion-therapy

My journey wasn’t a summer camp, an ex-gay ministry but rather two people who specialised in deliverance, that means they could get the gay demons out of me. From the age of 22 through to about 28, every three months or so I would stay for a weekend in this couple’s house for my sessions. Each session we talked, from childhood to present seeking to find the places where Satan might have infiltrated my life, if I’d had sex, we had to name the person and pray to be delivered from the demons they may have passed onto me. At first, I was excited thinking this was the answer, but as time passed, I realised how torturous this was all becoming!

Every session was digging up shame, making me feel shame and then leaving me with shame. God wasn’t doing anything! The more I tried to engage with this ministry the greater my sexual desires grew; it wasn’t doing anything at all! In desperation I went along with everything, I discovered my Mum was to blame, then my dad, my childhood, which actually was very happy, was also to blame. I learnt to hate the very ones who loved me and to view all the good I had as rotten and bad. It was torture, it screwed me up.

After six years I gave up and left this ministry having been told I couldn’t be delivered because I wasn’t willing to change! I left this but sadly it never left me. The God I loved, hated me, in fact he didn’t lift a finger to help, so I left him too; if he hates me, I hate him. The family I thought loved me were to blame for all of this, so on the hate list they go! Sadly, I hated myself, deliverance ministry, pray the gay away, conversion therapy whatever we call it ripped the life out of me and left me as a dead man walking with no hope! Justin ‘the project’ became Justin ‘the problem,’ and a big one at that!

Church was no longer home, family was no longer home, nowhere was safe anymore! What a lie I had been sold! And sadly, this is a lie a lot of my LGBTQIA+ friends get sold too! But it causes greater harm than good, in some cases suicide can be the result! It needs to stop!

A selection of recent films exploring the reality and harm caused by so-called Gay Conversion Therapy (images link to the IMDB page for each film)

The good news is it can but it’s going to be a long hard struggle. I have now returned to my faith, I’m a minister in training, God in his grace has been transforming me and ‘project Justin’ who became ‘problem Justin’ is now ‘loved and affirmed Justin!’ And I have accepted God’s call to rid this world of such practices and so I have to speak out.

Yes, we want the government to ban conversion therapy, but I too want the church to listen to us, to hear us, to see that bespoke charismatic packages of deliverance are the torture devices of hell. I don’t just want a ban but a real heart cry of sorry to come from within charismatic circles for what they have done as they have operated under the radar. We must continue to fight and stand together against this my friends, we are loved, we are affirmed, we are accepted, and we have a future in our faith communities.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this blog post, we highly recommend visiting the Stonewall website at: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/campaign-groups/conversion-therapy